Further out of view ... further out of mind...

Further out of view … and further out of mind… Australian children and women trapped overseas by domestic violence and systemic and judicial abuse.

“Duty of care to the young justifies Government’s action” was the headline of a recent Sydney Morning Herald opinion piece by the Prime Minister John Howard in regards to the government’s intervention in aboriginal communities in the Northern Territory (SMH, Tuesday 26th June, 2007 p11). In this article Mr Howard acknowledges the reality of violence against children and women, “It’s largely been hidden … out of view and out of mind.” He continues, “I take full responsibility for the success or failure of this plan. … we believe the overriding responsibility and duty of care we have for the young of this country justifies the scale, breadth and urgency of our response.”

The government and the opposition both agree on the need for immediate intervention when “Women and children are petrified of violence and sexual molestation” - but if the Australian children and women experiencing these abuses are further “out of view” and further “out of mind” than the Northern Territory, if they are overseas, then nobody seems to care about the violence and systemic and judicial abuse they experience or how afraid they might be. In fact, the government’s position is that it has “no ability or responsibility to intervene” for these Australian citizens (unlike Australian citizens such as the “Bali Nine”, Schapelle Corby and David Hicks).

So, if a “duty of care to the young” justifies the government’s actions, allocation of millions of dollars of resources and withholding of welfare payments that may be misused in the Northern Territory, what justifies the government’s inaction in regards to Australian children and women experiencing violence overseas? What justifies the federal government financing foreign jurisdictions that use their resources to violate Australian women and children’s human rights and need for safety and protection from abuse? (See the post “Dear Mr Prime Minister” at www.womenwhowant2gohome.blogspot.com, the online resource I created for children and women in similar circumstances.)

How does this reflect the values and information in the federal government’s current advertising campaigns “Violence Against Women – Australia Says No” and “Becoming an Australian citizen is much more than a ceremony.”? (Advertised benefits of citizenship include “Secure your family’s future” and “Expect full consular support.”)

I have been advised that currently there is no information or statistics available as to how many Australian children and women may be trapped overseas in these circumstances.

The kinds of problems women face ...

The problems and challenges children and women face because of violence in the family are well documented, whether near family, in their own country or isolated in a foreign country. Some of these challenges are discussed in my online resource.

Some of the problems my children and I have experienced that are not as well documented, researched or discussed include:

Change
I polled attendees at the World Conference on Prevention of Family Violence, Banff, Alberta, October 2005 (www.wcpfv2005.ca) and the consensus was that “nothing has changed in the last 5, 10, 15, 20 … years, they are still talking about the same things and nothing has changed”
At the recent Sydney University Faculty of Education and Social Work Seminar, “Towards Better Practice: Enhancing collaboration between mental health services and women’s domestic violence services” (April 2007,Leichardt) a guest speaker informed me “female politicians will not speak up about this because of male backlash” and “ the only way the government will do anything is if the media embarrasses them into it”. (Seminar proceedings are posted on the Australian Domestic and Family Violence Clearinghouse website www.austdvclearinghouse.unsw.edu.au .)

Power and control dynamics within the domestic violence industry.
“If you weren’t so angry and were nicer you would get some help!” (Co-organiser international conference, considered “expert” in the domestic violence industry.) How do you "be nice" about violence against children and women.? Why is being “nice” about the violence your children and you have experienced a condition of receiving assistance? How “nice” do I have to be to get help?

Ethics of research.
“I’m a researcher, not an advocate”. Her organisation had just received millions of dollars of government funding but she had no suggestions or resources to share with me, and when she realised that although I could converse knowledgeably about the issues I was not in fact a “researcher” or associated with a university she didn’t have time to talk with me.


Colonisation in the domestic violence industry.
“I can’t do anything to help you or your children but I’d like to use your writing for a project I’m working on.” Law Professor specialising in violence against women and children.

Ongoing abuse and trauma.
There is an expectation that children and women who have experienced domestic violence should “accept” what has happened, accept the injustices they experience, accept the lack of change, accept children continuing to be exposed to violence and in the custody of abusive parents and “get on with” their lives. This ignores the ongoing abuse and trauma and the harm (as serious as attempted and completed suicides of children and women in these situations) that could be prevented.
As Martin Luther King, Jnr. said, “It is hardly a moral act to encourage others patiently to accept injustice which he himself does not endure”. Women in these circumstances know others are benefiting and profiting from being “experts” on their and their children’s traumatic lived reality, garnering votes from claiming they care about children and women’s safety, obtaining public funding or donations for work on these issues, while telling these women they cannot help them and “You should just be patient and maybe your children will contact you when they are adults”, they never add, as long as you all survive until then.

Harm caused by abusive systems.
For me the trauma my children and I have experienced trying to get the government, politicians, justice system, police, advocates and organisations to provide the support, advocacy, protection and justice they claim to provide, has been more traumatic, unexpected and damaging than the abuse I experienced in my marriage.

Whistleblowers
When you leave an abusive spouse and “speak your truth” about the abuse in the family you act as a “whistleblower” on that persons actions and experience the associated dangers, challenges, isolation and backlash. When you then speak up and become a whistleblower on systems and governments that condone and reward abusive behaviour the dangers, challenges, isolation and backlash are compounded proportionally.


So, what options are available to children and women in this situation?

What are the options when justice systems and governments find violence against children and women acceptable?

What are the options when you have spent over $100,000 on lawyers, attending domestic violence conferences and doing advocacy work and you still can’t find anyone who will address the issue of justice departments who have their staff misinform courts about immigrant children and women’s experience of domestic violence?

What do you do when the “experts” say, “you’ve done more than any other mother I know and I don’t know what to suggest”?

What are your options when more people than you can remember have said, “I don’t know how you have survived”?

There have been many times when I felt so depressed, discouraged and disillusioned about not being able to protect my children that I thought that the only option for my children’s safety was to bring all my information together in one place and then to commit suicide in a very public and horrific way – and then maybe there would be a chance that someone would start to talk about these situations. But I now know that other children and women have attempted and committed suicide because they can no longer endure the pain of such situations, and this still continues.

Many people asked me to write a book about our situation, but no one offered safety or support or resources to enable me to do that. So I created an anonymous online resource in the form of a blog, www.womenwhowant2gohome.blogspot.com. I hoped that one day my children would read it and know how much I loved them and how hard I had worked to protect them. I hoped it might be a source of encouragement and information (accessible and free) for other women in similar circumstances. I hoped that if I shared this online resource with enough people one day someone would read it and be convicted to act.

I tried to find ways to live in hope instead of fear…

So writing this article became an opportunity to;

- Send a love letter to my children –because I have the privilege of knowing what amazing, delightful, caring and creative people you are I am still able to find hope.

- Say “Thank you” to my family and friends, your love and support sustains me.

Writing this article also became an opportunity to imagine options and;

- Beg those that have the opportunity and resources to act to assist us to do so, and if the only way for there to be change for us and other Australian children and women in these circumstances is for “the media to embarrass the government into it” then work to involve the media (being mindful of our safety and privacy).

- Encourage human rights activist and advocates who saw the upcoming federal election as the window of opportunity for political interest in justice for David Hicks to do the same for innocent and vulnerable Australian children and women trapped overseas by injustice.

- Enquire as to which legal experts can provide a second opinion on the federal Attorney General’s assessment that the government cannot “intervene” on behalf of Australian children and women in these circumstances, and would comment on the legality/constitutionality of the government providing consular assistance, paying legal fees and negotiating prison exchanges for Australians convicted of heroin trafficking in foreign jurisdictions and refusing to provide any support or assistance for innocent and vulnerable Australian children and women who are victims of a crime while in foreign jurisdictions.

- Request academic support, supervision, safety, encouragement and enablement for people like myself who have used their personal lived reality/ their experiential knowledge, to inform their research, reflection, social actions and advocacy and to create a portfolio of these “survivors” work to be assessed for academic accreditation.

- Request support, safety and enablement to write the book many have requested.

- Recommend reserved senior/executive/board/committee positions for “experts by experience”. (I would appreciate being considered for any of the above positions, see www.womenwhowant2gohome.blogspot.com for evidence of my research skills, resourcefulness, creativity, resilience, practical application of knowledge/social action and advocacy, communication skills and ethics.)

- Encourage payment of consultancy fees to “experts by experience” for their ideas and information.

- Recommend “measures of success” and “cost/benefit analysis” criteria for research grants and funding that reflects positive change in the lives of victims/survivors.

- Request funding to attend national and international conferences (it would also be wonderful to receive a complimentary ticket to that expensive banquet and invitations to the networking wine and cheese parties and exclusive get-togethers that you have to have some impressive job title or letters behind your name to attend).

- Invite “experts” to ensure that women who are “experts by experience” that have used their experiential knowledge to help others have access to the benefits and resources of the domestic violence sector.

- Invite discussion on how safety, social justice, equity and the right to resources for self-actualisation are prerequisites for sustainability.

- Invite and encourage all who have experienced violence and abuse in any form to “speak your truth” and find meaningful ways to live in hope.

- Send a message of celebration, gratitude, encouragement and honour for everyone who has ever contributed towards a safer, more just, more equitable and more sustainable society.

Take care … take heart,
“Merinda”