Is there anybody out there?

Greetings,

As mentioned in an earlier post (How many politicians does it take to protect Innocent and vulnerable children and women?) there was one elected official who replied ... copied below is my response to her email.


"Dear Senator .... ,


At the same time that the Australian government is informing me that they have no responsibility or ability to assist any Australian women and children trapped overseas by abusive spouses and justice systems that reward abuse against children and women they are providing immediate consular assistance to Al-Qaeda trainees in Yemen, apprehended paedophiles and drug traffickers in Asia, funding and assistance has been provided for the “Bali Nine” and Mr Downer has travelled to Indonesia to negotiate prisoner exchange programs for convicted traffickers, funding has been provided for David Hicks lawyer and Mr Ruddock has flown to the USA to negotiate on Mr Hicks behalf, Robert Jovicic has been provided with funds and accommodation while his return to Australia was arranged, ten million dollars was spent to rescue Douglas Woods from Iraq and I don’t know how much was spent rescuing Australians citizens from the most recent strife in Lebanon ….. and that’s only what I have had the chance to read about in the online news! Oh, and the government has also provided financial support for a foreign jurisdiction that uses its resources to deny Australian children and women justice, safety and human rights.

So to get my government to care about whether or not Australian women experience justice in the court system of a foreign country it would appear they would have to be a paedophile, drug trafficker or trainee terrorist – but innocent female victim’s of physical, emotional, sexual and financial abuse are of no concern! I’m not sure how this is reflective of the government’s commitment to its programs such as “Violence Against Women – Australia Says No!” and recent comments about respect and equality for women being an important Australian value.

My perspective is that government officials and government departments have a responsibility to warn Australian women that countries (even seemingly developed and democratic countries like Canada) might choose to break their own laws to reward male violence against immigrant women. Should Australian women be able to sue the government if they end up in a similar situation to mine? The government has had this information, that I had provided at personal expense, since 1999, and to the best of my knowledge has not shared the information they have to protect Australian women.

(I would be curious to know how much the government spends warning people about the dangers of choosing to be involved in drug trafficking, which we all know is an illegal activity, and how much it spends to assist these people after they ignore the warnings and still choose to break the law.)

Female M.P.s who are demanding the government bring David Hicks safely home immediately are telling me the government has no responsibility to do anything for Australian women and children trapped overseas by criminal activity, or that they can’t speak up for us because they are only the opposition, or they won’t get involved in situations that effect only one person and speaking up for David Hicks or Scott Parkin “is different”.

If I can connect with another Australian women who lives just over an hour away, who is in a similar situation, then how many other Australian children and women must be in this situation across Canada, in North America, around the world – no-one here is helping us otherwise we wouldn’t need to beg our government to help us – we would have been home safely with our families many years ago, happily and safely contributing to our communities and country.

We have no criminal records, we don’t even have to say if you bring us back we will stop committing crimes and start living like decent citizens because we have always conducted ourselves that way.

I met my former spouse on his sixth trip to Australia; he said he wanted to live in Australia, that he believed Australia was a better place than Canada to bring up children. When we married it was with the condition that we lived in Canada for ten years then returned to Australia permanently. I retained my Australian citizenship; my children were all registered as Australian citizens by descent. I kept my part of the agreement and temporarily gave up being near family and friends, temporarily gave up living in Australia, gave up my secure government job and went to live in rural ...... To contribute to the business we took over from his parents I learnt how to do all the book-keeping, ............., I got my semi-driver’s license and even worked outside when it was –42C not counting the wind-chill!

I thought going to live in a foreign country for a period of time would contribute to me being a well-rounded, tolerant and understanding citizen of the world – all it has done is expose me to the trauma of spousal and systemic abuse and expose me to the experience of finding out that my government cares more about criminals, drug traffickers, paedophiles and trainee terrorists than it does about abused children and women!

There is no way that I could have know beforehand that my former spouse would be an abusive husband, there is no way that I could have known beforehand that this province has two ways of dealing with domestic abuse depending on whether the woman is a Canadian citizen or an immigrant. There is no way I could have know that the Canadian Federal Justice Department finds this acceptable and does not hold provincial jurisdictions accountable to the application of the law or the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms or the Bill of Rights, or the United Nations conventions they have ratified such as the Convention on the Rights of the Child, Convention on the Elimination of Discrimination Against Women, Declaration of the Elimination of Violence Against Women.

The Australian Consulate in Ottawa, Australian Department of Foreign Affairs, Attorney General’s Department and MP for my home town electorate all received copies of letters (in 1999) detailing their believe that my former spouse abused our children and myself and their concerns for our safety from:

Doctor
Social worker who facilitated government funded Domestic Violence Support Group I attended
Counsellor my children and I saw
Pre-school teacher
....... Action Committee on the Status of Women
....... Battered Women’s Advocacy Network
....... Family Service Bureau

Ethically it is tearing me apart and killing me to know what I know .... to worry about my eldest child .................. , to worry about my other children and to worry about how I am going to keep surviving myself through this .... and to know all the things I have done, all the people I have shared information with in Canada and in Australia and still not be able to make any difference for my family or any other family.

Many people in this province including justice department employees, MLA's from both the main political parties in the province, the former Federal Justice Critic for women, social workers, lawyers.... as well as Florence Ievers, co-ordinator Federal Status of Women and John H Sims the deputy Federal Justice Minister have received information about this situation and done nothing- apparently they find it acceptable for the justice department to have their employees misrepresent information (from doctors, social workers who run government funded domestic violence support groups, counsellors, even international experts on child witnesses to domestic abuse like Dr Peter Jaffe) about immigrant women and their children's experience of abuse at the hands of Canadian males and to contact judges behind the scenes and lie about the abused woman.

There is not a single politician who would publicly say they find male violence against children and women acceptable but not a single one of the many politicians I have shared this information with and begged to speak up for my children and myself and all the other children and women in similar circumstances has done so.

This is a variation of human trafficking. At the moment many are calling for women that have been brought to Canada under false pretences for the purpose of sexual slavery to be allowed to stay in Canada. There are many women who were enticed to come to this country under false pretences by the men they married, who turn out to be abusive, that are desperate to leave! They came to Canada in the belief they were entering a loving, respectful relationship only to be physically, sexually, emotionally and financially abused. They came here on agreements about living in this country and being contributing citizens for a period of time and them returning to be near their own family and contribute to their own country, only to be isolated from their family and country and unable to return home. They are desperate to leave and return to the safety of their homeland – safe from the spousal and systemic abuse they experienced in Canada. Unfortunately, like me, they have discovered that it is acceptable in Canada to bring a woman into the country under false pretences and physically, emotionally, sexually and financially abuse her if you marry her first!

My experience as an immigrant has included the bizarre and traumatic experience of sharing my personal experience of abuse and personal resources to try and make a difference for all children and women experiencing abuse in Canada, while at the same time the government, justice department and justice system of the province I have the misfortune to be in are using all of their resources to misrepresent information about our experience of abuse, to lie about me, lie about the abuse my children and I experienced and deny us the safety and justice we deserve and the opportunity to return to safety and family in Australia – and instead reward my abusive former spouse and grant him the court ordered right to continue to abuse and control us.

I just want my children and I to get to go home together while we are still alive, while my parents are still alive, for my children to experience life in a country that does not pay its justice employees to reward male violence against children and wives, to be in the country my former spouse declared was a much better place to bring up children than Canada, to be in the country he promised and we agreed we would all be living in ten years ago.


It is with great sadness that I prepare to come home alone to find a way to make this situation public knowledge in Australia because Canadians won’t talk about this abuse of immigrant women and their children. Ethically I feel I have a personal responsibility to let Australian women know about the dangers of life in Canada if married to a Canadian. Somehow I need to find a way to let all potential female immigrants know about this reality. There is no pleasure in the thought that despite some of the wonderful people I have met here it is my ethical responsibility to warn other women about the reality of the Canadian lack of justice and safety for abused immigrant women. I am coming home to Australia in December for Christmas to see my parents who have both been in hospital and had serious health concerns since I last saw them; in January while I am home I want to be as strategic as possible in trying to rectifying this situation for my children and myself and all the other children and women that must be suffering in a terrified silence.

What I would prefer is that my children and I could all be safely home for Christmas, as we should have been ten years ago. What I would prefer is that I could find someone here who would initiate and ensure the actions required to show that there is some credibility to Canada’s Charter and Bill of Rights and would speak up for all children and women in this situation.

I am desperate to find someone who will bring these unsafe and unjust situations to the government and public’s attention in a way that does not endanger any individual woman or her children, protects their privacy, and creates a safe and accessible pathway for all women to easily and quickly obtain the safety and security she and her children need and deserve.

The provincial Justice Department, politicians, Ombudsman, Children’s Advocate and many others have received letters and extensive documentation from myself, service agencies, women’s advocacy groups and the professionals (doctor, social worker with government funded Domestic Violence Support Group, counsellor, expert on child witnesses to domestic abuse) who the justice department misrepresented (some of these people even came to meetings I organised with justice department officials). As well, the justice department and politicians have received letters from a provincial service agency who informed the justice department that they were currently working with five other women who had the same experience.

Not only did these experienced and concerned professionals all recommend that I should have sole custody of our children, they all expressed concern for my children’s and my safety in regards to my former spouse. The justice department has known since 1998 that their Family Law Division employee misrepresented this information and instead reported that they all recommended joint custody and made no reference to any of the concerns about our safety. The justice minister received letters from these professionals and copies of these people’s reports expressing their concerns for my children’s and my safety and has never acted on this information. And the Australian government has known this since 1999!

The provincial Justice Department fought me with all available resources until I suffered a depressive mental breakdown. I could no longer care for my children or myself. I begged both the social worker and health nurse who had know me for a quiet a while, knew of our circumstances and been involved with my efforts to have the justice department respond appropriately, to help me arrange care for my children and hospitalise me. Instead the social worker contacted the Department of Social Services to advise them that she thought I was a risk to my children .......... – that was basically the end of our relationship as my abusive former spouse used this opportunity to persuade my young children that I didn’t care for them, didn’t want them, didn’t love them and to prevent any contact between us.

And now years later I still can’t get anyone to deal with this situation despite the knowledge of ............ . Everyone’s response is that I should just wait and hope that when they are older my children will contact me – I am so afraid after my eldest child's .... that my children won’t survive until they are older – and even if they do manage to survive themselves we will still all be trapped in a country that rewards male violence against children and women, away from the safety and support of our family in Australia, in a situation where their father is still abusive and controlling their lives and they are still exposed to an extended family and culture who believes in supporting abusive males.

The Executive Director, Policy, Planning and Evaluation, this province's Justice Departement, approached me at a Justice Department focus group, to say, “What happened to you should never have happened to anyone!”. Then they and the justice department fought me with all the resources at their disposal until they managed to create the situation that lead to my mental breakdown.

Not only did the justice department choose to misrepresent information (commit perjury/obstruct the course of justice) to denigrate me but also to denigrate my family in Australia, never mentioning how highly regarded my family is in our local community, or that my father was one of the first people to receive the “Citizen of the Year Award” for his involvement in organisations and committees that contributed to my siblings and my childhood and our community.

I have reason to believe that after I initiated complaints with the provincial Justice Department they found alternative employment for their employee (who misrepresented information about the abuse my daughters and I experienced) in the provincial Ombudsman’s office. When I approached the Ombudsman for assistance they told me they couldn’t get involved with a complaint about the justice department – but this is contradicted by information in the Ombudsman’s annual reports available online.

Everyone’s suggested solution to our traumatic experience involves me not speaking my truth about our experience, but “accepting” what has happened, accepting that my daughters and I are trapped in a foreign country that believes in rewarding male violence, accepting that my daughters and I will never be safe, accepting that my children and I will never be at home with our family in Australia. If this were happening to someone in their family would they expect them to “accept” the same circumstances? … Or would they expect justice, safety, freedom from fear and freedom from abuse for their family members?

Despite all that I have done to contribute to Canada (see attached c.v.) my former spouse and the justice department have colluded to portray me as the problem. Everything I have contributed to Canada has been stolen from Australia. Everything I have done in the last twenty years, having children, co-operating and co-owning a business, being an employer, being an organic farmer, being involved in community organisations, volunteering, donating, starting a high school scholarship, have all been stolen from Australia by a foreigner who deliberately misrepresented himself and his intentions and a province and country who prefers to reward male violence against immigrant women and their children than to uphold their own laws and protect immigrant women and their children in the same way their laws were intended to protect Canadian women and children.

The provincial Justice Department was committed to an outcome that would enable my former spouse to continue to emotionally and financially abuse me, continue to have me live in fear and continue to control my life. All Australian female immigrants to Canada deserve to know that this could be their reality too!

Not only have I been suicidal over this situation but also now ..... and I still can’t get anyone to do anything. Many people have told me that I have done more than anyone else they know of in regards to our situation – and I’m still not able to protect my children or motivate those who could have and should have protected us and all the other children and women in similar circumstances.

I keep connecting with more women who have had similar experiences, more women whose children, forced to have contact with abusive fathers have mental health problems and are suicidal. More Australian and other immigrant women who experienced abuse from their Canadian spouse and then further abuse from the Canadian justice system.

I know so much, have researched and learnt so much – things I never wanted to know about - ethically I need to find a safe way to use this information to be part of making a difference. Who will work with me so that my children and I can return home to Australia, safely, so that other immigrant children and women can be safe? Who will work with me so that I can safely make use of all my lived experience and research to protect other children and women?

Due to the effects of these experiences on my physical and mental wellbeing it is a challenge to articulate our lived experience and the experiences mentioned here are just a small part of the trauma my children and I have endured.

To help you understand our situation I can forward you copies of the relevant letters, reports and emails that have been shared with the many people that I believed had the responsibility and privilege to protect all vulnerable children and women. This information was sent to outspoken law professor, Professor Mirko Bagaric, Deakin University, ... maybe there is a way to arrange for this information to be shared with you/forwarded to you if you are concerned about Australian children and women overseas.

(This information includes copies of reference letters in regards to presentations I have made about domestic violence to medical students, nursing students and clergy and a video about planning to escape from situations of domestic violence that received provincial funding from the justice department and national funding from the National Clearing House on Domestic Violence ............... , copies of correspondence with the provincial Justice Department, copies of letters and reports from concerned professionals.)

I had also contacted the University of Newcastle Legal Centre that assisted Cornelia Rau and her family, but they are overwhelmed with potential cases and have experienced funding cut backs.

What I hoped was that if there are legal experts who for ethical or professional reasons want to assist Australians overseas who break the law then it would be relatively easy to find legal experts who want to assist innocent Australian victims when overseas jurisdictions break their own laws! So far I have been unsuccessful.

Any assistance would be greatly appreciated.

Sincerely, "


.......... As with my other correspondence I am waiting for a reply!


Take care .... take heart .... Merinda