"I need to talk to you how suicidal I feel!"

“I need to talk to you about how suicidal I feel …”


Know matter how much I would like to, I cannot forget the day that I attended what had been my regular weekly appointment with …. MSW (counsellor Adult Mental Health Services, … Health District), and as soon as I sat down had to tell her “I need to talk to you about how suicidal I feel”.

I don’t know how to describe to you the confusion and pain I experienced when she ignored me, acted as if she hadn’t heard me and started talking about something completely unrelated. Reframing my original statement didn’t do anything to engage her in the life and death conversation I needed to have. As I had my hand on the doorknob to leave she said to me “If people really want to commit suicide they’ll do it anyway, you can’t do anything to stop them”.

I don’t know how I got myself safely home that day!

Several days later I received a phone call from the Adult Mental Health Services office, the counsellor I had been seeing would not be available for any more appointments, she was off on sick leave.

Considering all the information I had available to me I had many questions and many concerns. I phoned the counsellor’s supervisor. Of course when I inquired why the counsellor I had been seeing was on sick leave I was told that it was none of my business. My response to the supervisor was that I had some information that I thought it was her business to be concerned about - I described my recent experience. I wanted her to know I was concerned for myself, other clients who had recently seen this counsellor and the counsellor herself. My request to her was that she let me know what changes would be made in their workplace to support each other and provide the best possible service to their clients. Even though that was several years ago I am still waiting to hear what might have happened to ensure this doesn’t occur again.

Obviously anyone can experience mental health challenges, Sir Winston Churchill described his experience as his "black dog days".

Just ask ....
... sports journalist and broadcaster Craig Hamilton (see his book “Broken Open” written with Neill Jameson, Random House Australia 2004),
... former Western Australia premier - Dr Geoff Gallop,
... Dr Margo Orum (“Fairytales in Reality: My victory over bipolar depression”, Margo Orum, Pan Macmillan Australia 1996)
.... or Dr Kay Redfield Jamison ("An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness" Kay Redfield Jamison, Alfred A. Knopf Inc. 1995).


How have I survived my self through this? I couldn’t have done it without my family. I couldn’t have survived without the love and support of my family.

For example, I am extremely fortunate to have siblings who despite whatever childhood squabbles we may have had, despite the many kilometres between us and despite the many time zones between us are always available to reassure me that they love me and miss me.

One time one of my siblings phoned me every day for several weeks to remind me that even though I was feeling very depressed and lonely I was loved and cared about.

Another time one of my siblings phoned at what was late at night for them because they had just received an email from me where I wasn’t able to conceal how depressed I was. We spent several hours on the phone, with my sibling listening to me, encouraging me and letting me know they empathised with me and loved me.

I appreciate them and also the wonderful people they have brought into my life – their children and their partners.

Thank you dear ones … I love you and miss you.

The benefit of a listening ear is described in “Change The World For Ten Bucks” (see action 36 in both the Australian and Canadian versions).


“ Don’t just do something, sit there.

Right now, an estimated one million Canadians suffer from some form of depression.
Canadian Mental Health says that one in ten people will suffer from depression during their lifetime.
But there are lots of little things we can all do to make the world a less depressing place.
Like … just listening. It’s a real art, actually – and not as easy as it sounds.”

Canadian version, “Change The World for Ten Bucks: 50 ways to make a difference”

We Are What We Do, 2006. http://www.wearewhatwedo.org/


Here are their suggested resources-

Canada

http://eqi.org/listen.htm#Suggestions

http://www.suicideinfo.ca/

Australia

http://www.depressionnet.com.au/

http://www.beyondblue.org.au/

Another interesting online resource I discovered is -

The MoodGYM Training Program. “A free self help program to teach cognitive behaviour therapy skills to people vulnerable to depression and anxiety”. (No referral or appointment necessary!)

http://moodgym.anu.edu.au/


For additional information on the benefits of listening you could turn to Margaret J. Wheatley's book "Turning to one another: Simple conversations to restore hope to the future." (Berrett-Koehler Publishers 2002). Margaret Wheatley starts her book by stating "I believe we can change the world if we start listening to one another again."

... or go to The Center for Nonviolent Communication website http://www.cnvc.org/

Take care … take heart … take time to listen … Merinda